Cons of Conventional child rearing

So have you realized after or even before you got pregnant, how you can make at least 5 people super happy or even 10 people basic happy and almost 30 people mildly glad with your pregnancy. Mind you these people aren't just your near and dear. You know that.

Especially in India, I have observed that pregnant women and even moms with infants are considered holy. You could be a gangster but still you stop smoking in front of a pregnant lady. Amazing how you can be star of a show but feel like a loser all the time after you start on your mom's journey.

Deep sighs to that but let's talk about something basic. You hear so much of advice for being a first time mom. Some might work for you, something might not. But just because it works, doesn't make it right for your baby. So here let me bust some myths for you and give you tons of stuff to argue with your elders.

Kajal
I still get heat from my family for this, even though I allow it to be placed as "nazar" on some part of my baby's face. The reason doctors advice against it as kajal contains lead, even home made kajal has carbon. None of those should be near the baby, let alone his/her eyes. It could lead to infections. There is no scientific backing as well to suggest kajal helps in eyesight. So for "buri nazar" may be a small dot near hairline, best if you can avoid that too. Anyways there are so many other things elders do for nazar, like black threads, salt etc which are low on risk..

Hot water bath
This was a shocker to me, vouched by doulas, nurses, maids and even family. That babies need boiling hot water. To be honest, I could only tone down to large extent but not to a lukewarm temperature for my baby, fearing debates with elders. There is only so much I can accomplish. Found this short and direct article about this practice and why you should never let your baby bathe in hot water. It just hurts the baby and her delicate skin. No real benefits as a first hand experience. It's hot in India, there is no fear of cold with lukewarm bath. Also frequency is another point of contention. A bath before bed does help as part of a routine or to make them sleepy but its not a compulsory aspect of baby hygiene.

Talc
This should not be even a line item to discuss. Even adults are now stopping the use of talc as it is said to be carcinogenic. Especially in children where there is possibility of exposure to private parts, please refrain from it at all costs.

Cloth Diaper

This one is not exactly bad. If you are up for the laundry pile a little. Also, the negativity towards diapers is baseless. For one, there is no evidence of higher chance of diaper rash with store bought ones vs cotton cloth at home. Please change the diapers frequently, leaving it on for longer period and longer exposure to the wetness is the problem. If you want to support less waste, there are so many new age cloth diapering options for your little one. Diaper rash creams as per my experience and what I saw around, are not really worth it. Natural coconut oil works best. Just don't wait for diaper rash to appear, use oil at least once a day if you are not changing diapers often. My baby from the time she was born, screamed her lungs out whenever she peed, so we are forced to change nappies too often.

Salt, Spices, Sugar, Honey, Cow's milk (Buffalo, camel. goat, donkey whatever)
All of the above are a strict no no for below one year old babies. Unfortunately all of them are part of "Annaprasana", a ritual before starting solids for young ones. I lost the game on that day but following that stuck to avoiding these strictly at my home. Also, I realized some days if by chance your baby was fed a little for taste by your family, it is not a big deal. Do not make it happen again, do not panic either. These guidelines are based on few studies but they are not comprehensive ones. Still none of them have superior benefits below age 1 when primarily baby depends on breast milk or formula, so staying away should not be a problem.

Feeding with wet hair, fever/cold

There is no real logic to this wet hair issue but for the first two months, I dried my hair, I didn't want to take any chance. But later no one questioned me if I skipped this rule. When the mother is sick, the baby should not go hungry. With few precautions, mother can feed the baby. Babies immunity is based on the breast milk. Unless there is a serious illness, mother can happily feed her baby. But again, if the mother wishes and is in a position to feed her baby.

Feeding patterns of Mom/Galactagogues

There is a gray area here because of lack of extensive studies, but regular consensus is mother's diet has very little impact on the breast milk production. Even the galactagogues like fenugreek, garlic or store bought galact powder, few mothers found them helpful. There is no harm in trying them though, all galactagogues suggested are healthy pantry items. But many households force women to eat certain unhealthy laddoos and meat to gain strength after baby. The additional calorie requirement for lactating mother I heard is equivalent to a peanut butter toast and glass of milk. So beyond that is going to be as per mother's hunger and wish. Following lactation consultant or your gynaecologist is the right way to recover after child birth.

Exposure to Sun for jaundice

There is no evidence of this helping the baby recover from common jaundice at birth. Phototherapy by the hospital and breastfeeding are the only things that will help the baby recover. But exposure to sun in the morning is a good thing for the newborn to get adjusted to day and night difference. But only exposure by indirect sunlight through a window may be. Direct exposure to Sun could bring more serious issues.

Crying is an exercise

I never believed this even before becoming mother. It didn't make sense. But whenever my baby cried because of tummy ache or sleepiness or those hot water baths, I used to get hurt deeply. Now I know I am programmed to get hurt. And people say that it's an exercise for the baby. Nope, it's a way of communication, saying they are in some form of discomfort or distress and so don't think it means anything else.

This is no where close to the Indian family traditional saga and the drama that ensues if you disobey. I heard few bizarre ones like squeezing the new born nipples, putting soap in the baby's anus or feeding castor oil when they are constipated. It twists my tummy whenever I hear about it. The world knows better now. There are so many factors out of our control in protecting our child, when few of them are in our control, lets utilize the opportunity.